New Dawn

Daybreak...
the sun shining brightly
her heart dances lightly
@ the notion of realizing that SHE is ALIVE.
Demons...who lingered over her in the midnight hour
are nowhere to be found as the sun scours
over the earth & her.... alone.
Engulfed in darkness.... until daybreak, that is
where everything she feared, everything she was....
is revealed

Love

she yearned for something deeper....
a connection of sorts...
another human being to FILL her
in every variation of the word.
but she KNEW... that what she needed... & what she wanted
were contradictory...mutually exclusive.... too complicated
Independent.... but dependent at the very same time
Lonely...but has never actually been left alone to truly experience
what true loneliness is....
she assumes...
guesses.....

it's HER life....

nothing but a shell of her previous self....
she was once bright...an inner glow could be seen from afar
she was once loving...in love with the idea of life & being in love
she was once... alive... fearing no outcomes, only taking chances to live & learn

&&& now...she is a ghost of her past self.... afraid... dark.... dim.... dead
her inner glow has been extinguished.... &&& her ability to love has been lessened... greatly
this is her reality.... in the darkness, late in the midnight hour..
the demons hunt her nocturnally... preying on her flesh & weary mind...
she gives in... she knows not how to fight [anymore]....
so instead...she lies there....allowing herself to be preyed upon...
praying that one day..it will result in death
it MUST be easier than dealing with this shit....

Daybreak.
as she watches the demons leave....
she learns lesson plentiful every morning...
as they LEAVE...
she SEES
as they LEAVE...
she LEARNS...
LIFE...is still an option for her...
she cries.... feeling connected to God through her tears....
not knowing how much she can take...
but knowing that she still has yet to break....

Daybreak.

*joy always comes in the morning* :)