DISCLAIMER: Because this blog I am about to write may in fact rub many people the wrong way, I think it is important to begin with a disclaimer. I do not in any way, shape, or form condone domestic violence, nor do I think that any victim of it ever deserves it.
W/ that said, let us begin.
The media never fails to amaze or disappoint me. The Chris Brown/Rihanna situation is clearly a very touchy one, but it's not one that we know enough about to pass judgment. Chris Brown, in less than 24 hrs, has been turned into this woman beating monster and it truly gets under my skin. WE HAVE NO IDEA WHAT REALLY HAPPENED THAT NIGHT, OR WHY. But we continue to treat Rihanna like the poor, helpless victim and Brown like the raging, abusive muscle man. IT ISN'T FAIR.
Most people would argue that there is NEVER a reason to hit a woman. Shit...there is a reason to hit everybody; just DON'T do it. Chris Brown, if he did in fact put his hands on Rihanna in any type of way, he was OUT OF LINE. Period. However, if Rihanna ALSO put her hands on Chris Brown, then she too was OUT OF LINE and should be reprimanded in the same manner. It's no secret that men do more damage than women when it comes to physical violence but that doesn't make it acceptable for women to beat on men and not vice versa. Until the full facts of the situation have been disclosed, then I think judgment should be withheld on both of their behalves. We are not in their relationship, nor were any of us there that night. What occurred is their business and their doing. When they choose to disclose the details, then opinions and stances can be made and formed [even though I still believe that no one on this earth is in a position to pass judgment on ANY one else for doing ANYthing b/c we have all done @ least one thing in our lives that could be considered as questionable. No one is perfect...and it's absurd that people expected either one of them to be].
Moving on...apparently the media now wants to harp on the fact that Chris Brown had to witness domestic violence in his childhood...so of COURSE he abused Rihanna. It all makes sense now...right? WRONG. Though it puts him @ a higher pre-disposition to be violent, it in no way MAKES him violent. The sudden desire for Brown to admit his "sins" and seek "help that he greatly needs" irks me to no end. From what we know, this is a case of situational couple violence, meaning that it is an isolated incident that resulted from an isolated argument. This is the most common type of violence found in intimate relationships!!! &&& in this age range, women are actually more violent than men! they just do less damage. @ least 40% of intimate relationships right now have some type of intimate violence involved in them. Why am I saying all this? Because this behavior occurs more often than people think. Chris Brown, if he did it, had one case of his rage flaring out of control, and suddenly he needs professional help??? PLEASE!!!
&&& Lastly, all this talk of how they are now going to start focusing more on domestic violence. BULLSHIT. Women have been in abusive relationships, as well as men, for YEARSSSSS &&&& YEARSSSS and now suddenly America cares??? Bullshit. Rihanna and Chris, if anything, shed some light on a problem that already exists in intimate relationships, but this is in no way the first time something like this has occurred in celebrity America [or everyday America for that matter]. Media and haters: hop off this drama, let CB & Rihanna work it out on their own, and go on with your lives. Remember, "judge not or you too shall be judged".
What gives me the right to speak out on such an issue as domestic abuse? Idk...a lot of things. Maybe b/c I've seen and experienced it first hand. All I know is, it takes two to tango so we need to stop "taking sides" and support these young adults in moving forward with their lives.
