The Green Light

"..are you gonna sit on the sidelines & watch, or are you gonna get in the game, & play ball?.."

That's a question we all have to ask ourselves at one point or another. That point came for me when I turned 25. And realized, that more often than not, I'm spending my time doing things I have to do instead of indulging in things I want to do. That I was having more "ok" days than "great" days... That happiness was becoming an unattainable dream I was chasing futuristically.. as I presently just... existed.

Yes. All at 25. I took a look at my life... and realized I wasn't happy with what it was, what it was becoming. That though I had responsibilities and goals that placed unwanted restrictions on my time, I still wasn't utilizing the small gaps of time I did have to myself in a fulfilling manner. I used to tell myself... once I completed my masters program, everything will go back to "normal". But here's the thing. I didn't want it to. "Normal" was never that great for me, and "normal" was never what I wanted. That left me at a loss.

How do you simultaneously create the life you want while navigating the life that you have?

A daunting task, I must say. Especially once you've truly come to realize there really aren't enough hours in the day.

But I really had to have a real conversation with myself. Truly ask myself:

Do you want to watch people live their lives, or begin to live your own?

What is preventing you from becoming the person you want to be?

Why do you feel that you aren't always in control when it is your life?

And the answers are... YES. I  want to live MY life, desperately... && that more often than not, the barrier to change in becoming the ideal me.. is ME. && honestly, the best way to be in control [of yourself] is to not be controlling.

Control.... interesting concept. Particularly for a person like me who thrives on it, within it. But the truth is, we are never in control [completely]. And the key to owning yourself and your life, is to accept that. And operate accordingly.

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It all sounds great, right?.... Like I have all the answers.. && have it all under "control"
... LOL.. nah

Here's the reality. The only constant in life is change. But change is one of the hardest things to do.

We are creatures of habit... we cling to what we know.. and what has always "worked".. even if it hasn't always left us the most satisfied.

The true catalyst for change is discomfort. Discomfort so extreme that change is no longer an option; it becomes a necessity.

&& with that said... I'm only beginning this journey. Of true self-discovery.
Genuine vulnerability. Complete honesty. Total acceptance. Pure love.

So no.... you won't catch me on the sidelines any longer. I'll be too busy playing {the game}[better known as life]. I encourage the rest of you on the sidelines to join me.